The Popcorn Stand: Some things I could do without

The Popcorn Stand is periodically featured on the Recorder web site and the Porterville Recorder Sports Facebook page. (Actually, Recorder sports editor Charles Whisnand writes about whatever he wants when he feels like it). The column’s name, The Popcorn Stand, is in honor of one of Whisnand’s favorite sports columnist, Pulitzer-prize winning Red Smith, who once dubbed one of his columns The Popcorn Stand.

Some things I could do without in sports:

— The three-man rush, eight-men back defense. If I ruled the universe, this defense would be illegal on all levels of football.

— When a team marches right down the field at the end of the game, then the coach all of a sudden becomes conservative, runs three straight plays to set up a mid-range field goal attempt, which of course the kicker misses. Note to Stanford coach David Shaw. Let your future overall No. 1 pick in the NFL win the game, not some inexperienced kicker.

— The way Brent Musburger refers to all the players and coaches during his broadcast on a first name basis as if he knows them personally. By the way, the over-under on the number of times Musburger says “Folks,” during a broadcast is 13.

— “Dicky V” or as Michael Jordan once referred to him as, “Dukie V.”

— Which reminds me, also Duke basketball and Coach K will be among my list of things I love to root against when I ever I get around to writing it, which may be never.

— When a relief pitcher comes into a game and can’t throw strikes.

— When the first thing the color commentator says is the last thing the play-by-play announcer says. “They’re really fired up” — play-by-play announcer. “Yes, they’re really fired up” — color commentator.

— Words like “Heismanology,” “athleticism,” and “bracketology.”

— Sportscasters who yell at me and try to be clever when doing the sports news.

— With the NFL Network, MLB Network, etc. getting to the point where someday we can do without ESPN. (Although I have to admit, the 30-for-30 documentaries are outstanding).

The Popcorn Stand is periodically featured on the Recorder web site and the Porterville Recorder Sports Facebook page. (Actually, Recorder sports editor Charles Whisnand writes about whatever he wants when he feels like it). The column’s name, The Popcorn Stand, is in honor of one of Whisnand’s favorite sports columnist, Pulitzer-prize winning Red Smith, who once dubbed one of his columns The Popcorn Stand.

Some things I could do without in sports:

— The three-man rush, eight-men back defense. If I ruled the universe, this defense would be illegal on all levels of football.

— When a team marches right down the field at the end of the game, then the coach all of a sudden becomes conservative, runs three straight plays to set up a mid-range field goal attempt, which of course the kicker misses. Note to Stanford coach David Shaw. Let your future overall No. 1 pick in the NFL win the game, not some inexperienced kicker.

— The way Brent Musburger refers to all the players and coaches during his broadcast on a first name basis as if he knows them personally. By the way, the over-under on the number of times Musburger says “Folks,” during a broadcast is 13.

— “Dicky V” or as Michael Jordan once referred to him as, “Dukie V.”

— Which reminds me, also Duke basketball and Coach K will be among my list of things I love to root against when I ever I get around to writing it, which may be never.

— When a relief pitcher comes into a game and can’t throw strikes.

— When the first thing the color commentator says is the last thing the play-by-play announcer says. “They’re really fired up” — play-by-play announcer. “Yes, they’re really fired up” — color commentator.

— Words like “Heismanology,” “athleticism,” and “bracketology.”

— Sportscasters who yell at me and try to be clever when doing the sports news.

— With the NFL Network, MLB Network, etc. getting to the point where someday we can do without ESPN. (Although I have to admit, the 30-for-30 documentaries are outstanding).